The Lunacy Eclipse
by Red Witch
Summary: The Figgis Agency throws a party to watch the lunar eclipse.


**The lunar eclipse is hiding the disclaimer that I don't own any Archer characters. Just more madness from my tiny mind. **

**The Lunacy Eclipse **

"This is pretty exciting," Ray said as the Figgis Agency gathered on top of the roof of their building one night. "I've only seen a lunar eclipse once. And that was back in college."

"It's a good experience for AJ too," Lana said as she held her daughter.

"And a good excuse for a party," Pam grinned as she drank some beer. There was a table laden with food and drink on top of the roof as well.

"This is the last time this particular type of lunar eclipse will be seen in LA until 35 years from now," Krieger said as he looked through a telescope.

"And Archer is **missing** it," Cyril sighed. "Ha!"

"I don't think Archer is that big a fan of celestial bodies," Krieger told him. "Unless of course they're wearing a double D cup."

"Archer likes any reason to party," Pam said as she finished a beer.

Ray asked Lana. "Did you ask Ms. Archer if she wanted to come to the party?"

"She said no," Lana sighed. "And something about seeing enough of Pam's full moons more times than she wished."

"It's a shame," Pam shrugged. "She's going to miss a night she will never forget."

Lana paused. "I think I just figured out why Mallory didn't want to come to the party."

"Yeah," Cyril quipped. "Now I'm worried that I may never forget this. In a bad way!"

"Guys we're just looking at an eclipse and having some drinks," Pam told them. "How could we possibly screw **that **up?"

"You know when you say things like that," Lana sighed. "It's just tempting fate, right?"

"Hey, it's starting!" Ray pointed.

They watched the eclipse. "Oh no!" Cheryl screamed. "The moon is being eaten up by that big shadowy thing!"

Everyone looked at her. "Psyche!" Cheryl giggled. "I know it's just a shadow! Made you be concerned about my mental health! HA! HA!"

"Cheryl honey," Ray sighed as he picked up a beer bottle. "A lot of us have been concerned since **day one** about your mental health."

"It's beautiful," Lana said as they watched. "Look AJ! Look at the eclipse!" AJ squealed with delight.

"You think **that's** something," Cheryl grinned. "Wait until you see what Krieger and I did! Hit it Krieger!"

"Hit _what?_" Cyril did a double take. "No! Wait! Whatever it is, **don't **hit it!"

"Too late," Krieger took out a remote.

"No, it's **not!"** Cyril said in a panicked tone. "You haven't pushed the…"

BEEP!

FFFFOOOOM!

"Button…" Cyril groaned. "Oh god here it comes."

"What did you two idiots **do**?" Lana snapped.

"That!" Cheryl pointed.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"We set up some remote-controlled fireworks on top of that abandoned building down the street," Krieger smiled as fireworks lit up the sky. "To celebrate the eclipse in style!"

"Hang on," Ray realized something. "Aren't fireworks illegal in LA?"

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"They are," Cyril blinked as one of the fireworks hit a billboard. "With good reason."

"Oops," Krieger winced. "I think I may have miscalculated a couple of trajectories."

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"Noooooo?" Ray said sarcastically as another billboard caught on fire. "Really?"

BOOOOM! KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"You think anybody will notice?" Cheryl asked as the fireworks lit up the night sky.

"I think the astronauts on the **Space Shuttle** will notice!" Ray snapped.

"Yeah you idiots!" Lana snapped. "Those fireworks are so bright nobody can see the eclipse!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Ray blinked. "But they **can see** that one firework go into that building downtown and set it **on fire**."

"The CJ Nickels Department store is probably going to go out of business anyway," Pam remarked.

"Well it will **now**!" Lana snapped.

"GOD DAMN IT YOU GUYS!" Ray snapped. He accidentally threw away his beer bottle. Which was in his bionic hand.

"OWWW!" Someone was heard yelling.

"Oops," Ray looked over the side. "I think I hit someone."

"Are you **sure?"** Pam looked over. "Oh yeah guy lying down on the sidewalk unconscious and what's left of a broken bottle on the sidewalk. You hit someone."

"It's okay," Cheryl pointed. "Someone is helping him."

"No, he's helping **himself**," Cyril sighed. "He's stealing his wallet."

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"I always thought this town had too many billboards anyway," Cheryl remarked.

FOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"And palm trees," Cheryl smiled.

"See?" Krieger told Cheryl. "I **told** you that we needed to put in on an abandoned building! Safety first!"

ZEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWW

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"It's not so safe for the people on the street," Lana snapped. AJ was laughing her head off.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"On the bright side," Ray sighed. "That fire is now burning up all the evidence."

"That building is burning pretty fast," Pam remarked. "You used your special fireworks blend didn't Krieger?"

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"Maybe?" Krieger gulped.

"And now the Hollywood Sign is on fire too," Cyril groaned.

"Now for our **next** party activity," Lana groaned. "Go inside and deny everything to the police!"

"And maybe hold onto some fire extinguishers in case our building gets scorched?" Pam added.

"Good plan" Lana sighed as sparks rained down from the sky.

"35 years huh?" Ray sighed as they ran back into the building. "Hopefully by that time the city of LA will **forget this**!"

"I hope **I** forget it," Cyril groaned. "Well, me and the arson squad."


End file.
